Author: iainthomas

Where do you fit?

Not here says the forest and the valley.

Not here says the page and the publisher.

Not here says the math and the machine.

Not here says the coach and the field.

Where do you fit?

Not here says the river and the rain.

Not here says the bench and the park.

Not here says the street and the traffic lights.

Not here says the coffee shop and the drive-through.

Where do you fit?

Here, says the silence.

Here, when you close your eyes, in quiet rooms.

This is the only place you fit.

When you are barely even here.

why do we have to use plastic knives and forks?

Because a long time ago,
some bad men used metal knives
to hurt some people on a plane.

could you see the blood? could you see bones?
sometimes if you cut someone
so bad you can see their skeleton

Yes there was blood
and now we are not allowed metal knives inside airports.

did they go to jail

Who?

the people who cut the other people

Yes.

what were their names

I don’t remember.

were their names one, two, three,
four, five, six, seven, eight,
nine, ten, eleven, twelve?

Yes, those were their names.

– Iain S. Thomas

Dear You,

If there’s one question I’ve learned to ask myself more than any other, it’s this:

Is the thing I’m doing moving me closer or further away from the person I want to be?

I want to be less stressed out, happier, have more energy and have more meaningful experiences with the people I love.

I find if I remember to ask that question, I can slowly, gently move myself closer to that and I believe that if life is anything, it is that: the slow journey from who we were born as to who we imagine we could be, accepting each step as it comes and forgiving ourselves when we falter, so that we can carry on.

We are meant to move slowly but we are meant to move.

I find my primary method of movement in that journey is being present with the people I love, and in the experiences I seek out. And I find the more distracted I am, the more I am pulled away from where I am by plans and memories and the bright lights and colours of everyday life, the more miserable I am.

If I am with my children, when my phone bings and bingles with red and exciting notifications, I put my phone on do-not-disturb and I engage with them fully in whatever we’re doing.

If we’re having a tea party, we’re only having a tea party, I’m not trying to solve a problem or write a new poem. If we’re on a swing, we are only on the swing, I am fully invested, spiritually, emotionally and mentally in what we’re doing, I am engaged with them and interested in every story, ever nuance of who my children are.

My children have never been upset or brats or challenged me when I’ve treated them not as obstacles between me and what I want to achieve, but as the people I want to be with, experiencing things I want to experience.

I’m not saying that phones are bad, I run my life from my phone, and I understand that this isn’t always possible; that parenting is hard and that often as parents, we need to accomplish things -while- juggling our children. My point is that we should approach our life with intention, and when it is time to spend time with the people we love, that is all we should be doing.

When we are with someone, let’s be with them.

I believe we should treat everyone and all our experiences in this way, meaningful and with intention.

Thank you for your time.

My best,

Iain S. Thomas.

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Click here to sign up for regular emails from me like this one.

Do not ask the universe for permission to move.

Tell it, 

“I will move.” 

And it will carry you to where you must go. 

From my very occasional newsletter which you can subscribe to here. I also now have an Amazon store, where you can get this Twisbi Eco Fountain Pen, and even the Kaweco Blue ink inside of it – I earn a small amount if you buy anything from Amazon after clicking these links.

 

I will be sending someone a hand written letter from me containing one of my poems, of their choice.

I will choose someone at random from subscribers to my tinyletter at www.tinyletter.com/pleasefindthis

I hope it’s you.

In Montblanc Lucky Orange. I’m still amazed that there are parents who don’t understand this. My kid is braver than yours because I don’t give her a hard time or make her feel bad for how she feels, I let her choose what she wants to do and then I support her. If she feels afraid, we talk about being afraid. If she gets hurt, we talk about getting hurt. At no point do I ever tell her what she is or isn’t supposed to feel. She feels what she feels and she knows that’s fine with me, and she’s a thousand times stronger and braver for it.

From my first book, I Wrote This For You. Done with a Kaweco Sport, one of my favourite pens – this is the black one with the bold nib from the calligraphy set. I’ve loved them ever since I found a clear one at MOMA in New York. I own three of them now, one of which was given to me by my wife the night before my daughter was born.

 

You are not what you do.

This is one of the hardest things to accept for people with a creative slant. For some reason, we firmly believe we are the applause from the crowd, the award being won, the painting being sold, the deal going through. And we are elated when these things happen. But of course we then go on to think that we are also the one star review on Amazon, the job at the studio we do not have, the empty book signing, the unreturned phone call or the business that never gets off the ground.

So we get depressed.

But we’re not those things. We are not the things we do.

Do you know what 99% of the world spend’s their time thinking about?

It’s not the prestige of their job because for most people, a job is just a job, it’s a means to an end and who they fundementally are doesn’t depend on it.

Their families are who they are. Their friends are who they are. What they spend nine, ten, eleven hour days putting in a can or serving behind a counter isn’t them, it’s just something they’re doing.

You will go on an emotional roller coaster than will break your neck if you convince yourself that who you are depends on what you’re currently creatively doing.

So let me be clear:

You are not your painting, your poem, your song, your movie, and you are definitely not your instagram account.

The success or failure of your work doesn’t change who you are, even if it does change people’s opinion of who you are (which doesn’t change you either).

You are a creative person who wants to bring beautiful things into the world in whatever way you can and no matter how you do it or who responds to it, you’re still you – and you are remarkable and beautiful and incredible and so far out of the average just for trying.

And that is as true when you begin and it is when you end, regardless of whatever success happens along the way.

My best,

Iain S. Thomas

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If you’re in Cape Town, I’ll be at The Book Lounge on Wednesday reading and signing books – click here to find out more. You can sign up for regular, often encouraging (I hope) messages from me here, and you can buy my books here.